Mom-opoly

With my toddlers. Or against them, maybe? I spend all day back-and-forth, from one kid to another, scolding, hugging, disciplining, pulling my hair out. It's kinda like a real-life board game when you roll dice and land on spaces like "Child did not understand you the first time you told her not to color on the wall, go back to beginning and clean up the mess again", or "Bathroom: you are in another room and your children take the advantage steal your already-cold lunch, and see what happens if they flush it down the toilet in the other bathroom"; "Garden: your garden looks lovely, but while you are watering, the girls tear the flowers off all the bushes behind you". Days like today. Ahhh. Can I have a refund? On the day, not necessarily any of my children, choices, or anything like that. For instance, right now, at 7:30pm I am camped outside my kids room because the two young ones were sent to bed early for disobedience. But if I were to leave, they would get out of bed and play, talk, climb, get into stuff, and I just don't have the patience for that today. I am spent. Can I have a mini-vacation? Like an un-chaperoned trip to the grocery store?

"Hey Ferb, Whatcha Wanna Do Today?"

This is my morning mantra. Or maybe my morning theme song, since we tend to start our morning with Disney's "Phineas & Ferb". If I don't decide what I want to do for the day before I get out of bed, I don't get much done. I have a long enough to-do list, sure. But in the wee hours of the morning (they look 'wee' through my reluctantly-cracked eyelids), I just can't seem to think of anything so demanding that requires my immediate attention. Well, besides my three children, who awake each morning to discover that they haven't eaten for a full 10 hours and submit endless verbal appeals for immediate action at their behest. And their appetites are endless!!! If I go to the bathroom, my oldest daughter comes to the door asking what she can eat if she gets hungry. Just in case. Just in case I get sucked down the toilet or choke on my toothbrush!! If her food is not on a plate and eaten at the table, it doesn't constitute as breakfast. In other words, a gogurt, banana, bowl of cold cereal (eaten in the living room on a lazy morning), apple, glass of milk and piece of toast go completely unnoticed as she sweetly chimes, "Mom, what's for breakfast?".